Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Lost in Translation

You know? Everyone embarks on life's journey. And each journey is difrent in many ways and tells very much within itself. We make separate turns and take separate roads. But it is a marvel that how these separate roads will bring us back together again. Some are lucky enough to experience that, but after some wrong turns I have made, I may never make it back. I'm still waiting for mine to lead back to where I know my true road is where I know I belong.

You know life do sucks. It is worth living, but is it worth LOVING? There are always sacrifices we have to make for one thing or another. We are given these choices since we're kids. "Do you want the big expensive toy or a bunch of toys with the same price or the cheap one or what?"
It sucks to know that you never know what to choose. Well, all I gotta say now is that when you sacrifice love, it is a bigger chance than ever that you take but sometimes it has to be done. I just hope that person truly understands and doesn't hate me for it.

I love it when people betray you coz you can find out who is real and who's not. When people make up shit about you and then people believe it, then people assume too much and blames you for it. It reminds me of how naive and stupid I am, how immature and dumb human beings can be.

I've thought over it many times, all the memories in my mind. And I came up with an answer...In Life, we are giving one chance. One chance at Life. We all live for the moment whether we see it or not. There are moments in our life where we are like "DAMMIT!!" But we do things for the experiences and the feelings we get when we do them. Every BIG decision in life is like an andrenalin rush. Like Bungee jumping. You jump off, the only you can trust is the string that tied you and the wondering feeling of what's beneath you. This is just like deciding whether or not you are going to tell someone you love them. It's a rush. I meet alot of people who have decisions to live with, which of what they aren't proud of. But they live nonetheless.

I guess what I'm saying in all this is to live life. We have only ONE CHANCE! And me to myself, get a life.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Life worth Livin

I find it is amazing how life can be. The things that we do sometimes, and the lessons we learned, we thought we already knew it but actually we didn't!

In the society that I am, I discover that I have really no idea what I was doing. I would say a thing or two, make jokes and "flirt" in a playful manner, usually for one reason, to get attention from the people around me. Not that negative flirtish kind of attention but more to the friendly one. I absolutely love meeting new people, but sometimes what I seem to forget is that at times I am also a whole different person. So who am I really?

Well, I love to stay up late into the night after everybody is asleep. The world slumbers and I feel like peace and quiet. At my hometown in KL, sometimes I would go out and sit at the swing in front of my home with the dog who used to own me -ehemm- its a stray dog actually, but I made friends with it. Sit under the sprawling skies, nobody around to watch and reprimand me. Now, I'm staying in a boarding school away from home, there are no swings or homely places that I can hang around after dark. And yes, I still am the friggin imsonaic who loves to stay up. I met friends online, I missed Alex when he is not around. I draw, play music, I spend more time with my guitar, I am working on my second novel (my first novel Solstis prolly will get published by next year) and I listen to difrent genres of music that had never been any of my fancy, and found myself loving them in the end.

In general, I am pretty shy until I get to know you. But I would make a point to say a simple gesture of a hi to some people I passed by in the school halls or in the stores. I get nervous about coming up with the right thing to say. I love turning on the music that relates best to my mood. I love Gothic rock best, doesn't mean I'm the Goth chick who has to wear black all the time or talk about death everytime I open my mouth. I love texting, I love YMing when I feel like it and I love the fact that I don't have to if I don't feel like it. I love being the girly-girl with my silly looking polka dots teddy bears sheets, wearing clothes that I like and taking like, forever to pick what I wanted to wear for the rest of the day. I love standing under the showers for a long long time until my fingers gone all skinnish. I love face painting! I love standing in front of the mirror to do the painting, or try on whatever makeup I had, eventhough I am no pro in makeup or am not even goin anywhere. My face is the canvas! Whatever. I know I'm silly, I skip down the stairs and ran up the stairs eventhough there is an elevator. I don't care what other people say about me. I don't care what people tease me about, about my so called "style" (I wrote about that in my blog in friendster) and being different from the rest is what I consider being ME. People may say I'm plain crazy...but who cares.

I read alot, I like to learn about other people. I wana find out what makes a person ticks! I wana know more than just where you work, I wana know what people do, responsibilities, what you like or don't like. Anything. You learn about how a person feels about practically on any subjects.
Living in a society, people always tend to think that we have to get physical first and then see if we like someone. But for me, it's not like that at all. Connection is crucial, you can't be friends with people if you don't know what makes that person ticks!

I am not a talkative person, but I'm a writative person (I made that word up) and I'm very emotional, deep down I have a personality that wouldn't show until that person get to know me for quite some time. As time goes by, those individuals will see me for who I am and not just remember the first encounter. That's what I hope, anyway! But I have heard that from people's mouth about me anumber of times though.

Anything else, will come with Time...